{"id":100,"date":"2009-04-28T22:41:58","date_gmt":"2009-04-29T03:41:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/2009\/04\/28\/almost-halfway-through-the-week-swine-flu-jokes\/"},"modified":"2009-04-28T22:46:56","modified_gmt":"2009-04-29T03:46:56","slug":"almost-halfway-through-the-week-swine-flu-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/almost-halfway-through-the-week-swine-flu-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Almost halfway through the week – swine flu jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"

With the week almost at midpoint, I had a fun one-hour session on twitter<\/strong><\/a>, with regards to humoring the fears of swine flu epidemic. Consider this to be my first (and hopefully not last) session of twitter stand-up comedy.<\/p>\n

All the jokes below are mine. If you don’t like them, I will gladly refund your ticket price. But considering how Francois of Domaining.com<\/strong><\/a> actually laughed and DM’ed me about compiling them in a post, I think that I’ve at least won France over.<\/p>\n

But then again, who hasn’t! \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

First place to be hurt by swine flu: hot-dog stands in NYC. People will be asking for a chicken taco instead.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Please don’t RT swine flu comments, we don’t need to be infected via twitter !<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If I sneeze and snort at the same time, is it swine flu?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The more I post about swine flu, the more followers I get. That’s how flu is spread in the first place.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you’re ultra-orthodox Jewish, you’re safe against swine flu. It’s not kosher.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Disney HQ bans “Three Little Pigs” movie as a precaution against the swine flu.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Big Bad Wolf now sports a surgical face mask to protect himself against the swine flu.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Women calling ogling men “swine” now feel more empowered.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Porky Pig on FBI’s Most Wanted list!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If the deli person sneezes on my porkchops, is this a swine flu outbreak?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Side-effects of swine flu: having as much mucus as a pig ejaculates. And that’s a *lot*.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Feel free to RT my swine flu jokes. Or not. Spreading swine flu via twitter can be dangerous.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“Stop eating like a pig!”, said my wife. I said, “I have the swine flu, I can’t help it.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I asked the NYC hot-dog vendor for a pork sandwich. “Are you crazy?”, he said. “Chicken or beef only, orders of mayor Bloomberg.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I realized I have http:\/\/HitPig.com<\/a> . Should I drop it or risk infecting my other domains?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I knew fried porkchops were unhealthy, now they are lethal. Swine flu is no joke.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ladies, avoid Cancun in Mexico – on spring break, men act like pigs. You may catch swine flu.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Airplane meals: Would you like the e-coli pasta or the swine flu pork?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“Porky’s” movie banned as a precaution against spreading the swine flu virus.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Swine flu symptom: stuttering like p-p-p-p-p-porky p-p-p-p-ig.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Attempted robbery with a lethal weapon: robber sneezed on the bank teller and asked for money. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Major domain conferences to face fewer crowds due to swine flu. That, and sucky domains on auction.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I registered a “swine flu” domain. “Are you crazy?” said my wife. “You’ll get your portfolio infected”. So I let it drop.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

ICANN to allow .flu TLD in order to register the ultimate swine.flu domain.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

After I started this “swine flu” joke session, I lost two twitter followers. Hopefully, not to swine flu.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thanks to “swine flu”, Susan Boyle’s popularity dropped. A virus with good taste?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A guy sneezed on his wife – gets arrested for attempted murder. Can’t do that when swine flu is around the corner.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To be treated for swine flu, apparently you need some oinkment.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Three men walk into a bar…wait, no more swine flu jokes?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Careful when registering .MX domains. Make sure they are screened for swine flu.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

ICANN to quarantine the entire .MX Registry for fear of a global swine flu epidemic.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the week almost at midpoint, I had a fun one-hour session on twitter, with regards to humoring the fears of swine flu epidemic. Consider this to be my first (and hopefully not last) session of twitter stand-up comedy. All the jokes below are mine. If you don’t like them, I will gladly refund your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[248,247,249],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-domains","tag-jokes","tag-swine-flu","tag-twitter","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nAlmost halfway through the week - swine flu jokes - Acro.net - A Domain Investing Blog by Theo Develegas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/almost-halfway-through-the-week-swine-flu-jokes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Almost halfway through the week - swine flu jokes - Acro.net - A Domain Investing Blog by Theo Develegas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"With the week almost at midpoint, I had a fun one-hour session on twitter, with regards to humoring the fears of swine flu epidemic. 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