{"id":3361,"date":"2013-07-11T11:27:42","date_gmt":"2013-07-11T15:27:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/?p=3361"},"modified":"2013-07-11T11:30:57","modified_gmt":"2013-07-11T15:30:57","slug":"bs-lick-mah-ballz-an-open-letter-to-foul-mouthed-domain-buyers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/bs-lick-mah-ballz-an-open-letter-to-foul-mouthed-domain-buyers\/","title":{"rendered":"BS &#038; Lick Mah Ballz: An open letter to foul-mouthed domain buyers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear potential buyer,<\/p>\n<p>I understand your frustration. The domain name you wanted, that just so happened to pop in your head while taking a morning shower, is taken.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a shame really, because GoDaddy&#8217;s search tool had you all pumped up: for $10 (plus ICANN fee of $0.18) you could own the domain of your dreams.<\/p>\n<p>And now, your dreams are shattered. You typed the domain in your browser and ended up on a page with a link to a contact form.<\/p>\n<p>So you made several offers, trying anything from $1 to $50 and the response page quoted something about not reaching the minimum price.<\/p>\n<p>You went back to it &#8211; the cookie in your browser ensures you view the offer page from now on &#8211; and got all worked up by the $3,000 quote.<\/p>\n<p>How dare they steal my dream, you thought. I&#8217;ll teach them, you said out loud, snapping!<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Lick Mah Ballz!&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It doesn&#8217;t matter that you filled out the form with your full name, your telephone number, and your locale is recorded. You need to let it all out!<\/p>\n<p>I hope you&#8217;re feeling better, but you just lost your only chance to own this domain. After this virtual tea-bagging, I won&#8217;t be getting back to you &#8211; ever.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I&#8217;m using your keyboard bravado as yet another anecdotal piece to my benefit, and should you be careless enough to pester me again in the future, I will also publish your name. I love Quebecois but some of you are frog-eating <em>putain<\/em>, apparently.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;BS that this is worth thousands of dollars. I have other alternatives&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>OK, I get it. Being a cat lady &#8211; anyone with more than two cats qualifies as such &#8211; and an Etsy painter doesn&#8217;t exactly help pay the bills. So why bug me then, if you have alternatives?<\/p>\n<p>I have alternatives too, but I don&#8217;t act upon them. Because I use Frank Schilling&#8217;s professional platform, I&#8217;m bound to explain your inability to comprehend which way the domain world spins, using polite terms &#8211; unlike your &#8220;BS&#8221; statement.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;d very much like to tell you to piss off, because if I made an $1 offer on one of your $25 watercolor reprints, you&#8217;d want to go all Lorena Bobbitt on me.<\/p>\n<p>So, dear potential buyer: if you want the domain, open up your wallet. <strong>And keep your filthy mouth tightly shut.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear potential buyer, I understand your frustration. The domain name you wanted, that just so happened to pop in your head while taking a morning shower, is taken. It&#8217;s a shame really, because GoDaddy&#8217;s search tool had you all pumped up: for $10 (plus ICANN fee of $0.18) you could own the domain of your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-domains","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>BS &amp; Lick Mah Ballz: An open letter to foul-mouthed domain buyers - Acro.net - A Domain Investing Blog by Theo Develegas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/acro.net\/blog\/bs-lick-mah-ballz-an-open-letter-to-foul-mouthed-domain-buyers\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BS &amp; Lick Mah Ballz: An open letter to foul-mouthed domain buyers - Acro.net - A Domain Investing Blog by Theo Develegas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear potential buyer, I understand your frustration. 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